Football Is For Wimps

There is a stereotype out there as to what is masculine. When you think of a real tough guy, you automatically assume he plays football. That’s right (input mannish grunt here) when you want to play a man’s sport football is what you play. It’s American and we’re tough. Now being that I did not play or watch football growing up I have not developed a true unconditional love of the game. I am looking at it strictly as an outsider. First of all a real tough-guy man doesn’t show emotion. He does the guy hug (not too close, not too long). Any other aspect of touching another man leads to an all-out brawl. So here is where there is a contradiction. The quarterback and star of the team has to hold is hands in between another mans legs to grab a ball! Every player is squatting on a line with someone up under their butt. The only other time that someone may enjoy being up under another man’s butt? Prison. And where else might you grab a ball? Well I can think of many places, but none of them are too masculine per say. And what’s with all the names? End zone, halfback, fullback, running back. Everything relates to the backside….hmmm. And what about a tackle? So you have a pile of guys all on top of each other, and this is supposed to be the most masculine American sport? Men who watch football probably don’t greet their male friends with a kiss on the cheek, but they would delight in making a tackle. Just because you get dirty doesn’t make it more masculine. And what’s with those tights. Yes, they are shiny tights! I believe Olivia Newton-John wore some in her Let’s Get Physical music video. I am not questioning your gender orientation if you play or watch football. Just pointing out how homophobia can sometimes be contradictory. So what would I consider a masculine game? Soccer! I do not like this sport either, but if you simply look at the concept of the game you are trying to kick a ball away from you. There is no grabbing this ball and they don’t wear tights. Nobody is putting their face in your rear and if you do you will be kicked in the head! And yet some macho man is out there with a beer in his hand with full body paint cheering as his team gets a tackle all while saying “Soccer is for wimps!”

B.B.

Hey Grill Master You Need Some Side Dishes Too!

Greetings! I am the wife of the grill master. Call me Betty Baker. I am the “typical” housewife. I cook, I clean and if you ask me who is playing tonight, I will tell you the kids are. My dear husband has been so gracious as to give me a page to rant about things in sports (Keep in mind that I have little understanding the game). But as any “typical”, Desperate Housewives-watching, sewing-superstar, baking-cookies-on-a-Friday housewife will tell you, we find an interest in the players themselves and the pretty colors! I have been dragged to live games and honestly, I much more enjoy the stuff that goes on during commercial breaks! So I hope to keep you entertained with my rants and cookie-baking perspective of “the game."


 - Betty Baker 

Punk moves in College Football

Today was the opening weekend in college football and a couple of punk moves stood out. One old and one new.


The old punk move was watching Florida State coached by someone not named Bobby Bowden for the first time in my life. The man made college football in Tallahassee and though the last few years did not measure up against some of his best years, the program was dormant before he came along. Bobby Bowden is old, I mean old. Had the game passed him by? Debatable. Was forcing out a man who had given the FSU it's best football years wrong? No question. PUNK MOVE Florida State!

The new punk move was watching Michigan quarterback Tate Forcier pout like a child headed to timeout. Forcier and Denard Robinson split time last year under center for the Wolverines. Forcier seemed to think that would be the same scenario for this season. Early in the game he was on the bench barking out calls to Robinson and seemed to really be in the game. That was until he realized that he wasn't going to get any playing time. Robinson was busy setting the Sports Grill on fire with a Michigan quarterback rushing record 197 yards with 186 passing yards to boot. Robinson gave UConn all types of headaches and gave Forcier the runs, as in run and hide. With the game in hand in the fourth quarter Michigan's sideline was upbeat and celebrating the fact that they were up by 20. Everyone smiling and enjoying the win except for Forcier. He had taken helmet off and isolated himself from the team with a towel draped around his next like he was pretending to be invisible. Quarterback is not a position for petulance. You can't be looked at as the leader of the team when your squad is actually putting a 'W' in the books. Meanwhile you have an expression on your face like Robinson just slept with your girlfriend. PUNK MOVE Tate Forcier. (By the way with a name like Tate, can we really be surprised that he's got some punk in him?)




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