Football Is For Wimps

There is a stereotype out there as to what is masculine. When you think of a real tough guy, you automatically assume he plays football. That’s right (input mannish grunt here) when you want to play a man’s sport football is what you play. It’s American and we’re tough. Now being that I did not play or watch football growing up I have not developed a true unconditional love of the game. I am looking at it strictly as an outsider. First of all a real tough-guy man doesn’t show emotion. He does the guy hug (not too close, not too long). Any other aspect of touching another man leads to an all-out brawl. So here is where there is a contradiction. The quarterback and star of the team has to hold is hands in between another mans legs to grab a ball! Every player is squatting on a line with someone up under their butt. The only other time that someone may enjoy being up under another man’s butt? Prison. And where else might you grab a ball? Well I can think of many places, but none of them are too masculine per say. And what’s with all the names? End zone, halfback, fullback, running back. Everything relates to the backside….hmmm. And what about a tackle? So you have a pile of guys all on top of each other, and this is supposed to be the most masculine American sport? Men who watch football probably don’t greet their male friends with a kiss on the cheek, but they would delight in making a tackle. Just because you get dirty doesn’t make it more masculine. And what’s with those tights. Yes, they are shiny tights! I believe Olivia Newton-John wore some in her Let’s Get Physical music video. I am not questioning your gender orientation if you play or watch football. Just pointing out how homophobia can sometimes be contradictory. So what would I consider a masculine game? Soccer! I do not like this sport either, but if you simply look at the concept of the game you are trying to kick a ball away from you. There is no grabbing this ball and they don’t wear tights. Nobody is putting their face in your rear and if you do you will be kicked in the head! And yet some macho man is out there with a beer in his hand with full body paint cheering as his team gets a tackle all while saying “Soccer is for wimps!”

B.B.